Posted : Tuesday, Nov 26, 2019 at 1:41am
Disclaimer: Just Thinking out Loud (so to speak)
From the moment we are born, we begin making our mark on this earth. Your cries make your parents feel a certain way; they make the doctor feel like they have done a good job and most of all you are a part of the earth’s magnificent eco-system. Okay enough with the romanticizing, my point is simple: If we are born with clean slates then from the moment we start living we make our marks on that slate. Therefore there is no such thing as being clean again, for we now have experiences. (Please note clean is not a reference to purity).
However all of us at some point want to or are forced to start afresh. Many a times we all want clean slates, we ask for second chances and the list goes on. However unless you forget the experience it will always be with you. When you do something a second or third time, you now have experience to help you become more successful at the task at hand. This is the reason as to why we are able to make future plans because we can look at the past and from this past make sound decisions about our futures.
Now you may be wondering what I am low key rambling about, and the thing is I am at a point in my life where I must make decisions about my future. I would be lying if I said I am a go with the flow type of person, because even if they are not elaborate I almost always have a plan. I think I’m calculative by nature therefore I also try and figure out where my path is taking me.
However for the first time in a really long time, I actually do not know where my life will be a year from now. I have tried to think of the possibilities and given the data I can look at, I cannot make a sound decision of the bat. I am not operating with my saviour functions therefore on some level, I’ll have to move now then decide later where I am going.
In a way this is me really saying that the future is just blank. I don’t know what will be on my figurative blank page next year and as such I see this as a type of rebirth. I don’t know how I will be feeling or what I might be doing yet I am not in distress about this situation. I am merely looking forward to my new beginning: I know it won’t be completely clean and my past experiences may influence my future decisions but hey that is just how this thing we call life goes.
Somewhat unrelated closing note:
“You must be able to fight your ideals in order to be able to fight for your ideals”